There is something uniquely horrifying about a mother who believes that persuading her four-year-old son that he is a girl is an act of love. That is what we see for ourselves in an essay in Volume 36, No. 4 Summer of the periodical, Rethinking Schools.
The essay, Can a 4-Year-Old Know Her Gender Identity? Yes. The Importance of Supporting Gender-Expansive Students is an exercise in creepiness. One’s heart goes out to the little boy whose own mother is instilling in him the idea that he is a girl. She seems blissfully unaware of the way she is manipulating her own son—whom she starts referring to as her daughter about halfway through the piece.
In a mixture of treacle and child-damaging zealotry, the author tries to convince us that her son benefits from her monstrous manipulations aimed at ensuring that he conform to her evident wish that he were a daughter instead.
The essay starts out with a seemingly touching scene of a mother and son reading a book together. But the title of the book suggests that something on the sinister side is going on. The book is, Jacob’s New Dress.
The essayist assures us that she is reading this book for the umpteenth time to her four-year-old at his request. But who, presumably, provided him with the book? The mother.
She is attempting to be heartwarming, but we, reading between the lines, have to wonder if her son is understandably resistant to wearing the dresses that his mother is insisting that he wear:
“‘There are lots of ways to be a boy,’ Jacob’s mom said.”
I paused and looked at my son.
“Do you believe that, Simon?”
I paused again and did not get a reply.
I tried rephrasing my question: “How is school going? Do kids say anything about the dresses you wear?”
He took a deep breath and replied, “No.”
Sensing something was weighing on him I followed up: “Do you believe that there are lots of ways to be a boy? That boys can wear dresses?”
He finally replied, “Yeah,” and I followed up with “Do you feel like a boy?”
“No, mom. I’m a girl.”
There are several significant aspects of this disturbing passage.
First, there is the fact that the person the little boy, Simon, should trust the most in the world to protect him from harm is reading to him a book of transgenderist propaganda and asking him to affirm its message.
Second, the mother asks him several leading questions (e.g., “Do you believe that, Simon?”) in an attempt to have him confide in her his supposed fervent wish to be considered a girl.
Third, the mother is not satisfied with Simon’s understandable reluctance to be considered a little girl so asks him again. (“I paused again and did not get a reply. I tried rephrasing my question…”).
Fourth, the mother, rendered obtuse by her own transgenderist fanaticism, does not pick up on the fact that Simon, being a normal little boy, seems to be rebelling as best he can at being made to wear dresses to school—dresses his mother is supplying and telling him via a children’s book are appropriate attire for boys. (“Sensing something was weighing on him I followed up: “Do you believe that there are lots of ways to be a boy? That boys can wear dresses?”)
Fifth, after more pressuring of Simon he finally gives in and his mother pounces to ensure her victory over his fruitless attempts to retain some autonomy and masculinity. (“He finally replied, “Yeah,” and I followed up with “Do you feel like a boy?”)
Sixth, we left with an image of poor, crushed Simon giving his mother what she wants. (“No, mom. I’m a girl.”)
Seventh, and sickeningly, the mother exults in her triumph over her own son’s true sex and sense of self as a male, which she gleefully has wiped out. Simon is now her daughter—at least in her own obsessed eyes. (“My daughter’s statement could not have been more direct, honest, and clear. In that moment I glimpsed how deeply gender-expansive people feel who they are, no matter what society has labeled them as at birth.”)
Let’s examine that bit of transgenderist triumphalism in more detail.
a) Simon is not her “daughter.” Simon in her son. He is being made to dress in a way that he finds humiliating and that is making him appear freakish to his classmates of both genders.
b) Far from being “direct, honest, and clear” Simon’s surrender to his browbeating mother (note that he says, glumly, “Yeah” before finally providing the statement that he is a girl to his demanding mother, who will take no less than total defeat from Simon and the obliteration of his actual sex) is extracted from him by his own mother at the expense of his dignity.
c) Simon is being treated as if he is a mere cog in the wheels of the transgenderist locomotive that his mother has boarded and onto which she is dragging her son. (“In that moment I glimpsed how deeply gender-expansive people feel who they are…”)
d) Like so many transgenderists, the mother uses the pseudo-social scientific phraseology of the movement and contends that there is some vast conspiracy of delivery room personnel to diabolically “assign” a sex to a child that is not what the child will eventually realize he is. In the mother’s reading, Simon is not a boy. He was “assigned” that “gender identity.” But thanks to a transgenderistic, propagandistic children’s book and the mother’s misguided sense of what is in her son’s best interest he is to be treated as if he is a girl.
e) Like many transgenderists, the mother has a fixation on dresses as if wearing a dress magically transforms a normal little boy into a girl. What a reductive, retrograde view of girlhood: dresses=girls. That is a deeply sexist view of little girls and seems designed to plunge normal little boys like Simon into such depths of humiliation and shame that they will become the very troubled souls that the transgenderist medical complex feeds off of. At some point down the road, we will probably be told that if poor Simon does not receive puberty blockers he will become suicidal. (Indeed, like clockwork, later in the article the mother cites statistics about the mental health troubles that afflict transgender youth—hardly surprising, given their victimization at the hands of transgenderist parents.)
What a tragic figure little Simon is.
What makes this essay of concern to the broader public is that the mother, having demonstrated the extent of her bullying of helpless Simon, grandiosely extrapolates his tragedy to the greater world:
Often on people’s minds is a huge question, as it was on my mind when my 4-year-old was adamant about being a girl: Can a child this young actually know if they identify differently than their assigned gender at birth?
The mother assures us that she has done “research” (which includes meeting with a gender clinic counselor and taking a class at a local liberal arts college about the gender spectrum—none of this is, you know, biased towards transgenderism). She assures us:
Young children absolutely know inside how they experience gender. They may need help finding the words to express themselves, and people who will truly listen, see, and support their authenticity, but 100 percent young kids know.
Was Simon’s “authenticity” supported? From what we could see, he was bullied into saying he was a girl.
The mother gushes:
…until the journey with my own child, I did not fully understand the depths of the pain people experience when not affirmed, nor the tremendous joy when they are.
The reader does not sense “joy” in Simon—more a sort of sad resignation. And remember that “affirmed” here means to tell a boy that he is a girl and a girl that she is a boy—or nonbinary or some such “gender identity” dish of the day.
It is pretty clear that Simon did not so much “come out” as transgender as to have been maneuvered into declaring himself a girl by a mother who was already an eager participant in the radical gender ideology project:
Before my own child came out, I was supportive of gender-expansive children in my classroom, trying to do my best to affirm their gender.
She also, inadvertently, reveals her tendency to bully other people (not just poor Simon) into doing what she wants when it comes to transgenderism:
I also advocated for gender-expansive students by helping other teachers use correct pronouns
This woman very much likes forcing other people to say what she wants them to say—especially saying what is clearly not true—like “helping” other teachers refer to a girl as “he.”
It is striking too how much of the essay relates how much time the mother devotes to figuring out how best to brainwash Simon into signing off on turning him into a “girl” and how much satisfaction the mother derives from turning every educational setting she inserts herself into into a forum for transgenderist hectoring and proselytizing.
The mother, having at this point thoroughly indoctrinated Simon into at least dressing like a girl, decides, as a good transgenderist, that it is time for her son (whom she now calls her daughter) to become the cross-dressing focus of all the other children in his class at school. This process, of course, requires that the pre-school children in Simon’s class have their learning environment sexualized by this crusading transgenderist mother:
In the week following my daughter vocalizing who she is, I asked her if it was important for others to know. On the way to school one morning, she told me to tell her teachers. So, upon entering the classroom filled with little people playing with blocks, pouring sand, dressing up, and shrieks of disagreement and bubbles of laughter, I did. The teacher thanked us for sharing and asked what pronouns to use.
Note that the teacher is herself practiced at teaching children that they must pretend that a boy is a girl and a girl a boy. This is damaging for children.
Again, note that the son is called a daughter and his extorted statement is referred to as, “my daughter vocalizing who she is.”
Obviously, it is bad for a society that parents can treat biology itself as if it is dispensable if it does not happen to align with their transgenderist ideology. Note how the mother throws biological reality overboard in favor of a conjured up “gender identity” for her four-year-old son, now condemned at his mother’s whim to live as a girl:
“Dad and I named you Simon when you were born because we thought you were a boy. We were wrong. You absolutely can keep that name and if people get confused I will do better to correct them. You can also choose a new name to try out. A girl’s name.”
Imagine what the impact it must have had on Simon to be told that his parents, whom he should be able to regard without question as sources of stability and wisdom, can’t even be relied on to determine what sex he is and that all three of them have to now act as if he is a girl. The mother, who is so big on letting Simon determine his own “gender identity,” nevertheless specifies what gender he must select. (“You can also choose a new name to try out. A girl’s name.”)
Note the statement "and if people get confused"--apparently, there is enough of a recognizable boy left in poor dress-wearing Simon for him to be rightly regarded as a boy by other people--who will, of course, be berated by his transgenderist mother if they dare to treat Simon as what he is--a boy.
This woman seems to be on a power trip and imagines that by making her son wear dresses and feminizing his name to Simone, she now has a daughter where her son used to be. This is simply delusional and it guts the core of her son’s being:
On that crisp fall day, on the sidewalk by 7-11, Simone was affirmed.
A four-year-old boy has not, no matter what his kooky mother says, become a girl because of a bit of magical thinking near a convenience store.
The mother exults in the crushing of her son’s maleness:
Wanting my child to feel gender congruence, the feeling of harmony with one’s gender, I did as much research as I could, including joining a parent support group, and I continued to support Simone with the language she needed to understand the gender spectrum. There are children’s books that break down the gender binary for ways to talk about bodies and gender identity. Thankfully, in addition to the resources I’ve used, and as more people in her life affirmed and understood who she is, now at age 7 she has stopped saying negative things about her body or wanting to harm it.
Presumably, Simon the boy does not want to harm his male body and perhaps will be allowed to keep it intact and will not be fed hormones and experience the other even more extreme forms of quackery that the transgenderist frenzy is inflicting on children.
Note too that the mother surrounds herself with fellow transgenderists and seeks out children’s books that are highly sexualized in content.
Admittedly, the mother does claim that Simon had on his own experimented with wearing dresses, but this is not allowed to be treated as a passing phase. She also seems to want her son to become a sort of mini-drag queen, telling us excitedly about his “hot pink space-themed tulle dress” (“tulle” is a type of fabric often used in bridal wear—which is a strange way for even actual little girls to be dressed for preschool, much less boys).
Simon, thus, who seems to have become tired of girl’s attire as the noncommittal “Yeah” suggests is not taken to school in merely everyday girl’s clothing. No, he is to be outfitted with the most garish, hyperfeminine fabrics and styles available. Again, transgenderists believe that “trans girls” can best express their status as “girls” by adopting appallingly sexist stereotypes of femininity.
It is not enough that Simon from age four to his current seven change his name to a female one and arrive at school dressed like a hipster bridesmaid--he must dwell continually on the supposed evil of the gender binary. We are told
how important it is for young gender-expansive people to be taught explicitly about the language used to describe who they are and how society is set up to have people fit into a binary
No wonder children of transgenderist activist parents suffer psychologically when they reach adolescence. They are made to dwell in a joyless, transgenderist, language-obsessed reeducation camp and to regard those who are not transgenderists as oppressors and to be told for years on end that society is bent on their destruction.
And it is not just Simon that his mother wants to impose her transgenderist views on. She says:
As teachers, we can create gender-affirming school spaces by honoring students’ pronouns and helping all students and families understand the gender spectrum.
…our mindsets need to expand. Terminology is also shifting as communities change and gender-expansive people share more about their experiences.
The transgenderists won’t be satisfied until the entire world is as screwed up as they are and femininity is reduced to wearing dresses. Womanhood is not a matter of wardrobe.